When I was little, I was pure energy - fast, alive, and fully present in every moment. I loved my sport more than anything, and from the beginning, I chased improvement. I worked, trained, pushed, and followed my path with everything I had.
One of my biggest dreams was to play in a major competition, and eventually, I earned my place. I proved to myself that I belonged there.
But on the inside, I was struggling.
Along the way, I carried insecurities, self-doubt, overthinking, pressure, and a constant feeling of not being enough. And when the opportunity finally came - the moment I had always trained for - I lost access to my pure skill. Not because I wasn’t capable… but because I didn’t understand how my mind, body, emotions, and nervous system all work together.
That moment changed everything for me.
Afterward came regret, depression, and many heavy clouds I didn’t know how to deal with. Life kept pushing me into different lessons, and over time I was forced to face myself: to reflect, observe, heal, and understand what actually happened beneath the surface.
Even after taking a break, I returned to my sport - because deep down, it was always my soul’s passion. But the challenges didn’t end. Discipline, injuries, self-perception, pressure, performance anxiety, life outside of sports… everything was connected. Every injury affected my mind. Every thought affected my body. Every fear affected my opportunities.
The biggest battles we fight are inside us - not outside.
Step by step, I started observing my thoughts, my reactions, and the old fears that were shaping my choices. I saw how anxiety removes opportunities before we even take them. I saw how past experiences silently build the lenses through which we live. And I saw how easily we give our power away without even noticing.
Then the biggest realisation hit me - right in the middle of a beach volleyball game, by slowing the space around me:
Nothing in this life has power over us unless we give it.
There is always a way to transform ourselves.
There are infinite ways to play in this reality.
We are never stuck - we’re just unaware.
Everything changes the moment we understand how our mind, heart, awareness, and environment shape our identity. When we reconnect with our inner voice - the one that has been there since childhood - we finally see that life isn’t something happening to us.
It’s something happening through us.
And from there, we get to choose who we want to become.
Break the illusion and allow yourself to shine ~ Zaiga Kalvane✨